I've always been the reader and movie-lover in my friend group. The way that stories and characters inspire me to be the best version of myself touches my soul in a way that nothing else does. I was already an imaginative child, but after my family moved across our state, I spent all of middle school connecting with fictional words and characters, so I spoke to relationship expert Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, for a look at why our bonds with fictional characters are so strong.
I've always been the reader and movie-lover in my friend group. The way that stories and characters inspire me to be the best version of myself touches my soul in a way that nothing else does. I was already an imaginative child, but after my family moved across our state, I spent all of middle school connecting with fictional words and characters, so I spoke to relationship expert Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, for a look at why our bonds with fictional characters are so strong.
As I aged, I felt like I was growing up with my favorite characters, from The Chronicles of Narnia's Lucy Pevensie to the various superheroes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. As someone who's on the quieter side, it's always been inspiring to see characters that are brave under pressure because it makes me feel like I can be brave, too.
"Fictional romances can make us believe that our own romances should look exactly as we see them on the screen," Earnshaw says. "The same with how friendships and family relationships might be represented. But in real life, relationships are more complex and include day-to-day interactions which can't possibly be demonstrated on TV."
With so many shows and movies available, it takes no time at all to fall out of one hyperfixation and into another, but Earnshaw says that's not necessarily a bad thing. "Remind yourself that it's okay to have a fantasy! It is also okay to admire a character. I think it's super important not to have shame around this," she says. "And then, use that admiration and fantasy to consider what it means for your real life — what are you hoping for? What type of connections do you need?"
Actress KJ Smith's inspiring journey within the entertainment industry is a testament to how believing in oneself and trusting in divine timing can pave the way for success.
Over the years, Smith, whose acting career began in 2009, has appeared in various television shows and films before landing her leading role in BET's Sistas in 2019.
Since then, the 38-year-old's success has skyrocketed as she starred in other projects, such as Fatal Affair alongside Nia Long and Omar Epps, The Family Business, and Power Book III: Raising Kanan. Smith recently opened up about her experience during Black Love's The You Retreat discussion panel.
KJ On Success
In the panel last month, Smith revealed that despite her past achievements, she doesn't consider success to be a linear path but rather a continuous process.
The star shared that she gained this logic through the numerous times she auditioned for roles and has either received rejections or landed job opportunities. During that process, Smith added that she learned that if something was ordained in her life, that said thing would come to her.
"I think the phrase ‘made it’ is a little deceiving. It's a process of continuing to make it. How you know it's for you is when it's undeniable," she said.
KJ On Divine Timing
As the conversation continued, Smith recalled a particular moment when she didn't land an undisclosed role she thought was destined for her and expressed how heartbroken she was.
Still, the actress preserved and ultimately got the next gig she auditioned for a day after reading for that role.
"Actually, my first pilot, it was written for a white male, and at the time, I had just lost out on a role I had tested for. For something that I was like, 'This is actually me!' I tested for it, didn't get it. At the time, I was so heartbroken, " she explained.
“The next thing I booked... it was the quickest audition I had ever done. I literally went into the room. I did one scene, and then the next day, they were like, 'You're booked. We need you to fly to New Orleans.'"
Later, Smith mentioned that since that moment occurred in her life, she had shifted her mindset about not receiving certain things and that divine timing plays a role in "everything."
"That was mine, and no one else could have had that. That belonged to me, so now I'm like, 'No, it's going to be good thing, after good thing, after good thing, after good thing. Because nothing happens to me, everything happens for me," she said.
Smith continues to inspire her fans by using her social media platform to spread the message about trusting God's plan for one's life.
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Feature image by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images
The Great Report
2020 Global Report Sheet